Meet the Stash-Safe™
It may not dice or slice, and it doesn't come with a free set of steak knives, but it's the only place to stash your Stuff if you want to keep it safe from:

nuclear fallout

prying eyes

pesky moisture

gamma rays

extreme climates

getting squashed

It's shiny, it's sexy, and it will make you popular. Our recommended list of items that could be stashed include:

Leisure aids - Your uncrushed and wrinkle-free Home-made cigarettes will be the life of the party!

Ladie's vanities - Stash-Safe™ snugly holds a regular-size tampon without you looking like a poonce.

Medication and remedies - Trust Stash-Safe™ to protect your pharmaceutical paraphernalia.

Gentlemen's needs - Extensive lab testing reveals that the Stash-Safe™ will maintain your prophylactics in pristine condition until such time as they need to be replaced!
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We gave our Stash-Safe™ to several very sexy and totally hip members of the underground. Here is what they have to say about the world's favourite all-purpose carrying receptacle...

"It's the funkiest way to say you've got something to hide"
"You've saved me thousands of dollars in, um, medical expenses...
Thanks Contra™Brand"
"I've had the same emergency condom for five years now and counting, but it still looks ready to roll!"
"You wont catch me using anything else... or anything, for that matter. Now beat it, punk!"

You can purchase your Stash-Safe securely online here.